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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?